Bye Bye Jenni: A tough lesson in carpe diem

I almost cannot concentrate enough to write this. The pain is so great I am finding it hard to focus, but I will try my best. I had a friend of mine called Jenni Marshall. She lived in San Diego. We used to talk endlessly back in the day. Her and I worked for the same company. Once she came to town for training, and we spent the night, laughing, sipping wine, and just getting to know one another as good friends do. Nothing ever romantic ever occurred, she was someone special to me. I even got some drawings from her daughter Ashley. Then one day the company laid her off. Times were tough around 2002/03 in the industry, and I feared for my friend, especially as a single mother. She was tough though and always optimistic. She could always smile in any adversity and soon she found work at one of our competitors. And she was doing really well. Long after she stopped working for the company we would email and she would always email me and ask when I would come out to San Diego. I always said I would one day. But I always had some excuse. Usually about being too busy or not enough money. Soon the emails became less and less, and we spoke almost no more. Of course, we still communicated once in awhile through mutual friends, but by early 2005, we had lost touch. Our last email was mine telling her about a great girl I just met (who is now soon to be my wife) and asking her about how she was. She was doing okay, and things were really going well for her. Her last line in that last email was “P.S. When you comin to SD?????” It was so typical of Jenni, and was how she ended most of her emails to me. And it was so typical of me to say I was too busy or it was too expensive.

Anyway, fast forwarding to 2008, I am now traveling for work. Actually, I travel a lot. And I was finally making it out to San Diego. I was excited to finally see the city Jenni had sent all those postcards about. I was actually going to see what it was all about. Then the thought crossed my mind it would be cool to see Jenni. As I began to finalize my itinerary for my trip I spoke with Sonia, in the San Diego office. Sonia and Jenni were friends. If anyone had her latest contact details that I knew, it would be her. She also knew I knew Jenni from back in the day. As I asked about Jenni, Sonia went silent.

“ Didn’t you hear? Didn’t anyone tell you?”
“No, what?” I asked, really surprised by the comment, wondering if Jenni had come back to the company
“Jenni’s dead…” Sonia said drifting off
“What? Oh My God” It hit me like a punch in the stomach. I began to tear up as Sonia told me the story. Poor Jenni, at the age of 34, had died from complications while giving birth to her baby daughter just 5 weeks earlier. I couldn’t really take it all in. It was like I just saw her yesterday. I sadden by the news, and could not concentrate for the rest of the day. When I got off the phone, I looked it up and there it was in the obituaries online: “JENNIFER ELIZABETH MARSHALL May 10, 1973-Jan. 5, 2008: Jennifer Elizabeth Marshall, 34, of Chula Vista died Saturday…..”

I printed a copy of it and posted it on my cubicle wall. It’s a reminder about why you need to make the most out of every day and never make excuses. It sounds simple enough, but it’s easy to get caught up in things and forget to take the necessary time. I thank her for one last lesson and the reminder to practice it ever day. And as much as time has passed, I know Jenni will be up there smiling when I finally get to San Diego. I just wish I had made it sooner. Rest in peace. I’ll miss you.